Book review: Walking in Circles Before Lying Down
by Lisa M.
What if one day you were talking to your dog ...and he talked back?
...And what if your dog’s favourite topics were sex, road-kill, peeing and the lasting stench of vomit on your shoes?
Walking in Circles Before Lying Down is a hysterically funny tale of a human reconnecting with her instincts by way of a drooling, hump-happy, ball-crazy, garbage-loving dog.
California girl Dawn Tarnauer is reaping the whirlwind of years of bad, emotionally charged and impulsive decisions. Already twice divorced, she works in a doggy daycare, dodging an “acid rain of unsolicited advice” from her equally dysfunctional sister Halley, who runs a life-coaching practice from a Winnebago perched on a burnt-out lot in Malibu.
When her cheating, dog-hating loser DJ boyfriend dumps her, Dawn seeks comfort in her adopted pit-bull-cross named Chuck. As someone in the habit of talking to dogs, Dawn is suddenly shocked to discover that she can hear them talking back.
“I should have said something sooner,” Chuck consoles her. “Couldn’t you smell her on his pants?”
Dawn’s dog Chuck embodies all those canine qualities we adore: boundless optimism, undying loyalty and a willingness to please. “If I didn’t know for a fact you’d be upset…I would totally have bitten that Kirk guy.” He also provides insight into canine behaviour. “How can you have to pee so often?” Dawn asks. “Well, there’s two kinds of peeing. There’s regular peeing, because you have to pee. And then there’s auxiliary competitive peeing. For acquiring an empire. I’m all about the real estate.”
Emmy-Award winning author and comedienne Merrill Markoe, original head writer for Letterman and creator of Stupid Pet Tricks, weaves unforgettable characters, dark humour and biting dialogue with tender insight into the human and canine conditions. Markoe takes joy in the small doggy details – “I loved the way his feet smelled like corn chips” – and understands that if a dog doesn’t like your boyfriend, he’s probably got a pretty good reason. As Dawn starts to listen to her gut, she has Chuck and his fellow pooches to thank.
That said, as you might expect from someone prone to eating garbage, Chuck’s got a bit of a filthy mouth – which means you won’t want your kids to read this book, no matter how many times they catch you laughing out loud.
Walking in Circles Before Lying Down. Merrill Markoe. 2007. Villard, $17.95. Available at your local bookstore, library or amazon.ca.
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ARF bake sale
Come out and support Animal Rescue Foundation’s Pad for Paws Campaign as they host a bake sale at the Abbeydale Spring Craft Show, Saturday, May 23, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., Abbeydale Community Association, 821 Abbeydale Dr. NE, Calgary.
Pooches and pancakes
The BCSPCA Vancouver branch, 1205 East 7th Ave., is opening its doors to the public Saturday, May 23 with an open house, including a pancake breakfast. The event will feature face-painting as well as children's activities intended to teach about animal welfare. Meet some new furry new friends throughout the day.
Dog jog
Calgary Humane Society is hosting its annual Dog Jog, Sunday, May 24, 11 a.m. at Fish Creek Provincial Park in Calgary. Register at www.calgaryhumane.ca.
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